Somehow, it’s already May. Which means I’m heading into month three since I stopped playing language learning dress-up and actually got serious about learning Japanese. February was my wake-up call. March was all grind. And April? April was messy. Productive, but messy.

So, here’s the state of things. A check-in. A confession. A map forward. Call it what you will.

Kaishi 1.5k: Complete (Sort of)
I finished the Kaishi 1.5k deck. That should feel like a big win-and it is-but let’s be real: I didn’t learn the kanji. I focused only on readings. Why? Because I wanted to hear the language in my head before I started worrying about the shapes. It made sense at the time. But looking back, slowing down and tying in the kanji might’ve saved me some pain. Especially now that I’m staring down a 300-review mountain like it’s the final boss in a game I forgot how to play.

Wanikani and the RTK Break-Up (and Make-Up?)
I’m halfway through Wanikani level 5. It’s fine. Necessary, even. But it doesn’t hit like RTK does for me. I stopped RTK after 160 entries, thinking Wanikani would cover my bases. It’s a bit slow and I want to start reading more. So I’m bringing RTK back-I’ll shoot for 1,000-1,500 kanji, which should give me a stronger foundation for reading and, honestly, make me feel a little less like an imposter every time I look at a wall of text.

Genki I: Done. Workbook: In Progress. Genki II: Loading…
I finished Genki I a while ago, but now I’m circling back to hammer through the workbook. Mostly to see what actually stuck and what I memory-holed after the quiz section. I’ll be diving into Genki II later this month, probably every other day depending on how my schedule looks. I’ve learned to stop pretending time management isn’t a factor. Real life exists.

YouTube University: 72 Cure Dolly Videos Later…
Let me just say this: Cure Dolly changed the game. Difficult audio? Yes. Groundbreaking understanding of Japanese sentence structure? Also yes. I used to try to brute-force grammar. Now I feel it a little more. Like I’m slowly learning the rhythm and logic behind the madness

Anki, Anxiety, and Acceptance
Let’s talk about the elephant in the review queue. I let Kaishi reviews pile up-multiple times. 300-500 cards in a day is not a fun time. I’m hovering around 80% retention, which isn’t bad, but it’s also not great. Still, I’ve stopped beating myself up about it. I show up. I chip away. And I move forward. That’s what matters.

But here’s the truth: about a month ago, I started to seriously question my progress. Everyone online preaches that language learning isn’t a race, that we should enjoy the journey. I get it. But depending on the week, I have to remind myself-sometimes aggressively-that this isn’t a competition. I want to be further along than I am. I crave results. That hunger is good, but it’s also dangerous if it tips into obsession.

These days, I try to measure progress in effort, not outcomes. If I reviewed old cards, listened to some audio, or just showed up-then it’s a win. Sometimes, trusting that my ears are slowly getting better feels like trying to watch a tree grow. But I’m learning to believe in the slow magic of consistency.

It’s also way too easy to fall down the productivity rabbit hole. I’ve spent hours researching how others learn Japanese when I could’ve been, I don’t know, actually learning Japanese. There’s a time and place for optimization, but too much of it is just procrastination in disguise.

One of the hardest parts has been grasping how immersion actually works. How does this mess of media and input eventually click into fluency? What I’ve come to understand-finally-is that exposure to full sentences, especially with intent, is the bridge. Working to understand the sentence gives me grammar and vocab in one shot. Then turning that into a sentence card (but not too many per day-important!) adds reinforcement with structure. Pair that with finishing full episodes or shows? That’s where the feeling of momentum comes from. Accomplishment meets learning.

Sentence mining always felt like a concept just out of reach. Now it feels doable. Practical. I know what I need to do each day, and that clarity is worth gold.

So yeah-I still need reminders to stay grounded. To enjoy the process. To let myself be human. But mostly, I need to not let my Anki reviews pile up again.

cries in Japanese

What’s Next: Mining, Reading, and Reality Checks
The plan for the next three months?

• Morphman & Ankidrone: Once Kaishi chills out, I’ll start sentence mining. 10 new ones a day, max.
• RTK Resurrection: 50 kanji meanings a day. No pressure on readings.
• Genki II: After the Genki I workbook is done (mid-May), I’ll start Genki II and alternate study days.
• Satori Reader: I’ll read 3-10 articles a day for a month ($9). If it sticks, I’ll commit to 3 months.
• Teppei & Anime: Still watching 1–2 anime episodes a day. Still listening to Nihongo con Teppei passively—about 38 episodes deep. I’ll ramp it up to surround myself with more native audio.

The Vibe Check: Wiser, Not Just Tired
I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m miles ahead of where I started. There’s more structure now. More honesty. More systems in place. I’m learning to pace myself, to build sustainability instead of sprinting into burnout.

So no, I’m not fluent. I still stumble. Still forget. Still stare at kanji like they personally insulted me. But I’m here. I’m grinding. And every day, it feels a little less like chaos-and a little more like home.

Until next time-back to the deck.